until the anniversary of my most recent miscarriage.
As the season began to change and it got warm again, it was just a reminder that it was once again summer and the anniversary is quickly approaching in July. This one has been particularly hard for me. I guess because everything I've tried since then has been a big fat failure. I never dreamed, while it was happening, that a year would go by and I'd still be sitting here battling the infertility for which no one has a good answer. I know a baby who was born in April 2009, and that baby is how old my baby is supposed to be right now. It really stings to see him. Just another reminder of what is supposed to be..along with the pregnant bellies, diapers, tiny socks, and cars at the Babies R Us parking lot.
I know that I have kids. I know that I've overcome it before. But every time is different..because every time there is the lingering doubt that I may not overcome it this time. What if I don't?
This is my third battle with Secondary Infertility and you would think that by now I'd have gotten used to it but the truth is, every time is as hard as the first.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
I no longer have a baby.
Our sweet little Nathan Scott turned 3 on May 9th.
What can I say about Nate? He is my snuggler. He is a 110% bonafide mama's boy. He just loves mom, his favorite place is in my lap. I have zero complaints about that. =) I love it! He is so curious about everything and smart. He's so funny, too. He says the cutest, funniest things and does the funniest things. He loves to dance, play cars, jump on beds (not that I love that!) and sing. He idolizes his big brothers, especially Matthew.
So, a tribute to tmy sweet little Nathan. Born May 9, 2006 at 8:15 AM. 8 pounds, 1 ounce. And absolutely gorgeous. <3 He was an angel baby. So happy all of the time, he always went with the flow. Always had a big smile on his face.
With daddy right after birth
Enjoying some mommy time, just a couple of hours old
1 day old
3 months old
6 months
Of all the pictures of any of my children, this is my all-time favorite. He was 9 months old in this picture. He is so stinkin' precious.
This is very shortly after we moved here to Colorado, so he's about 13 months old here.
His first steps =)
What can I say about Nate? He is my snuggler. He is a 110% bonafide mama's boy. He just loves mom, his favorite place is in my lap. I have zero complaints about that. =) I love it! He is so curious about everything and smart. He's so funny, too. He says the cutest, funniest things and does the funniest things. He loves to dance, play cars, jump on beds (not that I love that!) and sing. He idolizes his big brothers, especially Matthew.
So, a tribute to tmy sweet little Nathan. Born May 9, 2006 at 8:15 AM. 8 pounds, 1 ounce. And absolutely gorgeous. <3 He was an angel baby. So happy all of the time, he always went with the flow. Always had a big smile on his face.
With daddy right after birth
Enjoying some mommy time, just a couple of hours old
1 day old
3 months old
6 months
Of all the pictures of any of my children, this is my all-time favorite. He was 9 months old in this picture. He is so stinkin' precious.
This is very shortly after we moved here to Colorado, so he's about 13 months old here.
His first steps =)
Monday, June 01, 2009
Yes, I am a procrastinator
So I've been telling myself for over a month now that I would finally get around to some updates..and boy do I have a lot of updates. We had Nathan's birthday come and go, so I need to post about my baby boy turning 3. ::sniff sniff:: I've had a hard time with his turning 3. We've celebrated Easter, had Matthew's preschool graduation, the Pinewood Derby for Andrew, we've bought a new car, and perhaps the most fabulous news of them all...Nathan is potty trained.
Since I'm most pleased about the potty training, we'll start with that. =) The week of his birthday, which was May 9th; he suddenly told me that he wanted to use the potty. Thinking this was a waste of my time, since I had tried numerous times before to put him on the potty, I kind of rolled my eyes and took off his diaper. He wandered half naked into the bathroom, sat down on the toilet, and proceeded to pee. All by himself. Completely shocked, I praised him and gave him a candy. He then stayed dry for an hour, so I took him back into the bathroom and much to my surprise, he went again. He has not looked back since. It's been nearly a month now and he is in underwear all during the day and has had very few accidents. To say that I am pleased is an understatement. Yay, Nater Gator!!! He also graduated from speech therapy. Here he is with Miss Mindy. =)
It has been a couple of weeks since his last session and he still asks several times a week if she is coming over. He misses her very much, and while I am glad that he is moving on; I am sad that he has lost a dear friend.
Speaking of graduations...our sweet Matthew has graduated from preschool!! He was so proud of himself, loving the attention and enjoying being on stage. He's our little ham. He stood up there and did all of the hand motions to the songs. Matthew is on the far right, in the blue shirt with yellow tie. (BE SURE to press pause on my music player so that you can hear the children singing.)
Matthew asks everyday if it's time to go to Kindergarten now!! He is sad that he must wait until August for the first day of school.
I should add some tidbits about Andrew. He gave an oral presentation at school and I was delighted that he chose Abraham Lincoln, the founder of the Republican Party. Could any mom be more proud of her growing conservative son? ;) He did a wonderful job, complete with his beard and top hat.
Shortly after, he participated in the Pinewood Derby. He was so pleased when his car continually won heat after heat. He did not wind up winning overall, but he sure did great!!
And, last but certainly not least..Nathan's 3rd birthday party.
He wanted a bouncy house for his party. I think it was worth it..expensive, but worth it. I found a pretty good deal online to rent it for the day. Since Nathan is obsessed with Disney's movie "Cars", that was the theme, of course. We had a good time with a pinata, lunch, the bouncy house, and friends. It was a cloudy day but we got lucky that the rain stayed away until the party was over.
The cake. It turned out ok. Certainly better than Andrew's mess of a cake that I am still very embarrassed about. Anyway, I made the little "3" cake on the top into the race track, covered the road in black fondant. All of the green on top is the grass tip, all buttercream. The sides are black and white fondant squares laid out in a checkerboard pattern. I did not make the cars on top myself...I could have with a little fondant and gumpaste, but I was feeling lazy. Plus, this way, Nate got to play with the metal cars and keep them for himself after the cake was gone. =)
The birthday boy in the bouncy house.
Nate takes a swing at the pinata (holding the bat backward, but hey! He tried, right??)
By popular demand, I've come back and added some photos of our new car. We bought a 2007 Suzuki Xl7 with 23,000 miles on it. We got a very good deal on it. It's the luxury model, with All Wheel Drive (sooo much better in the snow, I think we'll really be glad that we have that come winter!!) and 5 star safety ratings. Driver and passenger airbags, side curtain airbags for both back rows. It has stability and traction control, too. 7 year warranty. All in all, it's much safer for our family than our old XL-7 and much more roomy inside. The third row in this car is actual very comfortable with much more leg room than our old XL-7.
The only thing it lacks is a permanent DVD player..but, I don't really care all that much about that. I wouldn't want the boys to expect to watch t.v. every time they get in the car. And we have a portable DVD player that will be more than sufficient on long car trips.
Lacking the desire to go outside and take pictures of the car myself, I've taken these off the dealer's website before they pull the car off as sold. This is our actual car, pictures taken at the dealer when they were selling it. So when you see the interior of the car, just imagine all of our carseats in it and you'll get the general idea. =)
My favorite feature is how the middle row seat flips up to allow ample space to walk into the third row. I'll have to take a picture of that. It's soooo cool. Sam likes the japanese engine. Of course. He also likes how the automatic transmission can be switched to manual to increase acceleration. That IS pretty fun, I'll admit.
Here's a review that I found that helped the seal the deal for us to buy this car (we LOVED the reliability and power of our old XL-7, but were leaning toward a minivan this time because of the space issue.)
http://suvs.about.com/od/suzuk1/fr/07suzy_xl7_phil.htm#
That's it for now. I have run out of time to post anymore, even though there is more to post. Perhaps next week...
Since I'm most pleased about the potty training, we'll start with that. =) The week of his birthday, which was May 9th; he suddenly told me that he wanted to use the potty. Thinking this was a waste of my time, since I had tried numerous times before to put him on the potty, I kind of rolled my eyes and took off his diaper. He wandered half naked into the bathroom, sat down on the toilet, and proceeded to pee. All by himself. Completely shocked, I praised him and gave him a candy. He then stayed dry for an hour, so I took him back into the bathroom and much to my surprise, he went again. He has not looked back since. It's been nearly a month now and he is in underwear all during the day and has had very few accidents. To say that I am pleased is an understatement. Yay, Nater Gator!!! He also graduated from speech therapy. Here he is with Miss Mindy. =)
It has been a couple of weeks since his last session and he still asks several times a week if she is coming over. He misses her very much, and while I am glad that he is moving on; I am sad that he has lost a dear friend.
Speaking of graduations...our sweet Matthew has graduated from preschool!! He was so proud of himself, loving the attention and enjoying being on stage. He's our little ham. He stood up there and did all of the hand motions to the songs. Matthew is on the far right, in the blue shirt with yellow tie. (BE SURE to press pause on my music player so that you can hear the children singing.)
Matthew asks everyday if it's time to go to Kindergarten now!! He is sad that he must wait until August for the first day of school.
I should add some tidbits about Andrew. He gave an oral presentation at school and I was delighted that he chose Abraham Lincoln, the founder of the Republican Party. Could any mom be more proud of her growing conservative son? ;) He did a wonderful job, complete with his beard and top hat.
Shortly after, he participated in the Pinewood Derby. He was so pleased when his car continually won heat after heat. He did not wind up winning overall, but he sure did great!!
And, last but certainly not least..Nathan's 3rd birthday party.
He wanted a bouncy house for his party. I think it was worth it..expensive, but worth it. I found a pretty good deal online to rent it for the day. Since Nathan is obsessed with Disney's movie "Cars", that was the theme, of course. We had a good time with a pinata, lunch, the bouncy house, and friends. It was a cloudy day but we got lucky that the rain stayed away until the party was over.
The cake. It turned out ok. Certainly better than Andrew's mess of a cake that I am still very embarrassed about. Anyway, I made the little "3" cake on the top into the race track, covered the road in black fondant. All of the green on top is the grass tip, all buttercream. The sides are black and white fondant squares laid out in a checkerboard pattern. I did not make the cars on top myself...I could have with a little fondant and gumpaste, but I was feeling lazy. Plus, this way, Nate got to play with the metal cars and keep them for himself after the cake was gone. =)
The birthday boy in the bouncy house.
Nate takes a swing at the pinata (holding the bat backward, but hey! He tried, right??)
By popular demand, I've come back and added some photos of our new car. We bought a 2007 Suzuki Xl7 with 23,000 miles on it. We got a very good deal on it. It's the luxury model, with All Wheel Drive (sooo much better in the snow, I think we'll really be glad that we have that come winter!!) and 5 star safety ratings. Driver and passenger airbags, side curtain airbags for both back rows. It has stability and traction control, too. 7 year warranty. All in all, it's much safer for our family than our old XL-7 and much more roomy inside. The third row in this car is actual very comfortable with much more leg room than our old XL-7.
The only thing it lacks is a permanent DVD player..but, I don't really care all that much about that. I wouldn't want the boys to expect to watch t.v. every time they get in the car. And we have a portable DVD player that will be more than sufficient on long car trips.
Lacking the desire to go outside and take pictures of the car myself, I've taken these off the dealer's website before they pull the car off as sold. This is our actual car, pictures taken at the dealer when they were selling it. So when you see the interior of the car, just imagine all of our carseats in it and you'll get the general idea. =)
My favorite feature is how the middle row seat flips up to allow ample space to walk into the third row. I'll have to take a picture of that. It's soooo cool. Sam likes the japanese engine. Of course. He also likes how the automatic transmission can be switched to manual to increase acceleration. That IS pretty fun, I'll admit.
Here's a review that I found that helped the seal the deal for us to buy this car (we LOVED the reliability and power of our old XL-7, but were leaning toward a minivan this time because of the space issue.)
http://suvs.about.com/od/suzuk1/fr/07suzy_xl7_phil.htm#
That's it for now. I have run out of time to post anymore, even though there is more to post. Perhaps next week...
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Is Dissent still Patriotic?
We (well, the little boys and myself) attended the Tax Day Tea Party event in Denver today.
I wasn't sure how parking would be, so we arrived early so that we could find a place to park. This wound up being both good and bad: good, because we found a good place to park; and bad, because we got there nearly 2 hours early and by the time the events were starting, the boys were tired and wanted to go home.
On the way to the event, I prepped Matthew and told him that if anyone yelled at us, he needed to just smile. It's a good thing that I prepped him, because just while walking from the car to the capitol building, we were yelled at by some idiot who apparently doesn't believe in Free Speech. Matthew said "I love you!" to him. =) We also witnessed one looney get arrested. A liberal who decided to infilterate the rally. He threw a screwdriver at some woman and hit her in the head. He then proceeded to rip the railing out of the ground on the capitol steps (don't ask me what he was planning to do with the rail..my only guess is that he planned to throw it at us.) The police arrested him. I guess dissent is no longer patriotic. Not when it's a Lib in the White House.
We were a popular family at the rally. Everyone thought my little boys were so cute. There were plenty of other children there, but everyone seemed to stop to talk to mine. Matthew told one of them he wanted to be the President someday. The woman told him that was wonderful, but he had to promise to be a conservative and ethical one. Matthew said "Yes conservative I would never be a liberal." Ah! That's my boy! Makes a mama proud!!
I was interviewed by the news and it's airing tonight at 5. I don't know why I was singled out. I hope that I do the cause justice. I saw that it was ABC news (Denver) and so I was reluctant to speak with them - me no likey ABC spews. They'll probably edit what I said to make me sound like an idiot, in true liberal media fashion.
What made the biggest impression on me today? By far, how completely kind and compassionate conservatives are. Really. The liberals that I saw walking down the street, who booed me and gave me nasty looks, are the intolerant fools. They can't tolerate a dissenting opinion. As a conservative, I tell you that I have never given such looks or confronted someone with a different opinion than mine when not provoked. Also, the veteran who; with tears streaming down his face, said that this was not the country that he had fought for. I wish I could give him that country back. It's lost to me, as well. For now. I see a glimmer of hope, TRUE hope, from these patriotics who surrounded me this morning.
Just a view of some of the rally goers with their signs.
I thought this sign was a hoot!
Nathan shows his disdain for Obama's tax policies and the spendulus bill.
Matthew shows off his sign...my little Reaganite in the making!! (I was so proud when he sang along to "God Bless the USA." He did not know the words, but he sure tried!)
Me and my future (conservative) politicians
(Nate didn't want to hold his sign at all at the rally, but allowed me to take this photo of him with it this morning at home)
The grand total in attendance was estimated around 3,500-4,000.
I wasn't sure how parking would be, so we arrived early so that we could find a place to park. This wound up being both good and bad: good, because we found a good place to park; and bad, because we got there nearly 2 hours early and by the time the events were starting, the boys were tired and wanted to go home.
On the way to the event, I prepped Matthew and told him that if anyone yelled at us, he needed to just smile. It's a good thing that I prepped him, because just while walking from the car to the capitol building, we were yelled at by some idiot who apparently doesn't believe in Free Speech. Matthew said "I love you!" to him. =) We also witnessed one looney get arrested. A liberal who decided to infilterate the rally. He threw a screwdriver at some woman and hit her in the head. He then proceeded to rip the railing out of the ground on the capitol steps (don't ask me what he was planning to do with the rail..my only guess is that he planned to throw it at us.) The police arrested him. I guess dissent is no longer patriotic. Not when it's a Lib in the White House.
We were a popular family at the rally. Everyone thought my little boys were so cute. There were plenty of other children there, but everyone seemed to stop to talk to mine. Matthew told one of them he wanted to be the President someday. The woman told him that was wonderful, but he had to promise to be a conservative and ethical one. Matthew said "Yes conservative I would never be a liberal." Ah! That's my boy! Makes a mama proud!!
I was interviewed by the news and it's airing tonight at 5. I don't know why I was singled out. I hope that I do the cause justice. I saw that it was ABC news (Denver) and so I was reluctant to speak with them - me no likey ABC spews. They'll probably edit what I said to make me sound like an idiot, in true liberal media fashion.
What made the biggest impression on me today? By far, how completely kind and compassionate conservatives are. Really. The liberals that I saw walking down the street, who booed me and gave me nasty looks, are the intolerant fools. They can't tolerate a dissenting opinion. As a conservative, I tell you that I have never given such looks or confronted someone with a different opinion than mine when not provoked. Also, the veteran who; with tears streaming down his face, said that this was not the country that he had fought for. I wish I could give him that country back. It's lost to me, as well. For now. I see a glimmer of hope, TRUE hope, from these patriotics who surrounded me this morning.
Just a view of some of the rally goers with their signs.
I thought this sign was a hoot!
Nathan shows his disdain for Obama's tax policies and the spendulus bill.
Matthew shows off his sign...my little Reaganite in the making!! (I was so proud when he sang along to "God Bless the USA." He did not know the words, but he sure tried!)
Me and my future (conservative) politicians
(Nate didn't want to hold his sign at all at the rally, but allowed me to take this photo of him with it this morning at home)
The grand total in attendance was estimated around 3,500-4,000.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
A birthday extravaganza (with a side of cake)
Andrew's birthday this year seemed to drag on forever.
We decided to have his party a couple of weeks after his birthday, since his cousin Taylor, Uncle Steve, and Grandma and Grandpa would be here visiting for his baptism. But then we discovered that because of our change in scheduling, his best friend Spencer would be unable to attend his party because he would be out of town (darn Spring Break.) So what do we do when the BFF can't come?! We have him over to spend the night, of course. Andrew got to have a special birthday abelskiver in the morning. (And Sam and I were grateful the evening was over.) The child on the left does not belong to me. That's Spencer.
..and then they enjoyed popsicles after lunch.
Then there were actually a couple of weeks until his actual party and baptism. I made cakes for other people that weren't my son, and everytime I was making a cake he asked if it was finally his birthday cake! Patience, son. Patience.
First was for a little girl in our ward named Elle. Her mom ordered a Wonder Pets cake. This was a 12 inch white cake with buttercream frosting.
The following week, I had Julie's baby shower cake. This cake was really fun to make. Apparently the shower theme was Lilly Pulitzer, whom I had never in my life heard of (thank you, Google!!) This was a double chocolate cake with buttercream frosting covered in marshmallow fondant.
In the midst of the cake mess in my kitchen, our sweet little Matthew really wanted to draw some pictures for his Great Grandpa. My poor grandfather suffered a stroke a few weeks ago. He's doing ok, but still lacks the use of his left side and has to be in a rehabilitation center for a few months. Matthew drew all afternoon, dictating what his drawings were to be called. I have been told that Grandpa has all of the drawings hanging on his bulletin board. Matthew beamed with pride at this news. I wish we could do more for Grandpa but for now, this is it.
This one is titled "Great Grandpa surfing in the Atlantic Ocean. He has a big head with arms."
Sometime in the midst of all of this, we had a fun visit from Sam's folks. Grandma and Grandpa were only able to stay for a few days, because of weather (they drove.) They took the boys down to Colorado Springs for a day, and I hear they had a good time...and I forgot to send them with the camera.
FINALLY. The moments Andrew has been waiting for. His birthday celebration and baptism.
My nephew Taylor and brother Steve had a heck of a time getting here. The day they flew in happened to be the first real weather we've had here in Denver all year. And it was some weather, let me tell ya. We actually had a blizzard that day. It was insane. First their flight was cancelled (ya think?!?!) And then they got on one later that night that would up being delayed due to weather in Phoenix where they fly from; and long story short...Sam picked them up and they all arrived safely home around 3:00 AM. What an ordeal for them. We're just so glad that they made it here!
Andrew asked for a Chuck E. Cheese party. I thought he was too old for that, but he insisted. So, a party at Chuck E. Cheese with a Pokemon theme. Go figure. But I think we had a pretty good time...and the best part about Chuck E. Cheese: no mess in my house. That's a major plus.
I hesitated about putting a picture of his cake on here since I made it very late at night and I think it turned out HORRIBLE. But I figured that since it's a post about Andrew's party, I should include it. SIGH. Don't even bother trying to lie to me and telling me that it looks good; I will not believe you, I am thoroughly embarrassed by how it looked. Big huge thumbs down. It tasted good, though.
Yeah. That's supposed to be Ash with Pikachu on his back. UGH, so ugly!!!! (Note to self: Allow daylight hours to properly decorate a cake.)
Moving on. The party.
The birthday boy, enjoying his friends and food.
Nate, who just loves Chuck E. (Matthew is terrified of him and spent every moment that Chuck E. was out wandering the restaurant clinging to either me or daddy.)
The next day was Andrew's baptism. It was a wonderful program. Andrew was the only one being baptized, which was really nice. ***PROUD MOM ALERT. PROUD MOM ALERT*** He has been so ready to be baptized. We read the scriptures with him every night, and he always has something insightful to say about what we have read. I believe that he truly loves Christ and is going to make an excellent missionary someday.
Andrew and cousin Taylor, before the baptism!
With Grandma and Grandpa
Our beautiful family (what with that face, Nathan??)
With mom and dad (I have determined that I am getting fat. The camera adds 10 pounds, right..? RIGHT?)
Me and my good lookin' brother. Apparently he stole all of the skinny genes.
And finally, my little (not so little?) boy with dad in his baptismal clothes. sniff sniff.
These past several weeks have been a whirlwind, but the best kind of whirlwind. We are so proud of our son, so blessed with a wonderful family, and really just blessed with beautiful lives. (Now if I could just get pregnant.....)
We decided to have his party a couple of weeks after his birthday, since his cousin Taylor, Uncle Steve, and Grandma and Grandpa would be here visiting for his baptism. But then we discovered that because of our change in scheduling, his best friend Spencer would be unable to attend his party because he would be out of town (darn Spring Break.) So what do we do when the BFF can't come?! We have him over to spend the night, of course. Andrew got to have a special birthday abelskiver in the morning. (And Sam and I were grateful the evening was over.) The child on the left does not belong to me. That's Spencer.
..and then they enjoyed popsicles after lunch.
Then there were actually a couple of weeks until his actual party and baptism. I made cakes for other people that weren't my son, and everytime I was making a cake he asked if it was finally his birthday cake! Patience, son. Patience.
First was for a little girl in our ward named Elle. Her mom ordered a Wonder Pets cake. This was a 12 inch white cake with buttercream frosting.
The following week, I had Julie's baby shower cake. This cake was really fun to make. Apparently the shower theme was Lilly Pulitzer, whom I had never in my life heard of (thank you, Google!!) This was a double chocolate cake with buttercream frosting covered in marshmallow fondant.
In the midst of the cake mess in my kitchen, our sweet little Matthew really wanted to draw some pictures for his Great Grandpa. My poor grandfather suffered a stroke a few weeks ago. He's doing ok, but still lacks the use of his left side and has to be in a rehabilitation center for a few months. Matthew drew all afternoon, dictating what his drawings were to be called. I have been told that Grandpa has all of the drawings hanging on his bulletin board. Matthew beamed with pride at this news. I wish we could do more for Grandpa but for now, this is it.
This one is titled "Great Grandpa surfing in the Atlantic Ocean. He has a big head with arms."
Sometime in the midst of all of this, we had a fun visit from Sam's folks. Grandma and Grandpa were only able to stay for a few days, because of weather (they drove.) They took the boys down to Colorado Springs for a day, and I hear they had a good time...and I forgot to send them with the camera.
FINALLY. The moments Andrew has been waiting for. His birthday celebration and baptism.
My nephew Taylor and brother Steve had a heck of a time getting here. The day they flew in happened to be the first real weather we've had here in Denver all year. And it was some weather, let me tell ya. We actually had a blizzard that day. It was insane. First their flight was cancelled (ya think?!?!) And then they got on one later that night that would up being delayed due to weather in Phoenix where they fly from; and long story short...Sam picked them up and they all arrived safely home around 3:00 AM. What an ordeal for them. We're just so glad that they made it here!
Andrew asked for a Chuck E. Cheese party. I thought he was too old for that, but he insisted. So, a party at Chuck E. Cheese with a Pokemon theme. Go figure. But I think we had a pretty good time...and the best part about Chuck E. Cheese: no mess in my house. That's a major plus.
I hesitated about putting a picture of his cake on here since I made it very late at night and I think it turned out HORRIBLE. But I figured that since it's a post about Andrew's party, I should include it. SIGH. Don't even bother trying to lie to me and telling me that it looks good; I will not believe you, I am thoroughly embarrassed by how it looked. Big huge thumbs down. It tasted good, though.
Yeah. That's supposed to be Ash with Pikachu on his back. UGH, so ugly!!!! (Note to self: Allow daylight hours to properly decorate a cake.)
Moving on. The party.
The birthday boy, enjoying his friends and food.
Nate, who just loves Chuck E. (Matthew is terrified of him and spent every moment that Chuck E. was out wandering the restaurant clinging to either me or daddy.)
The next day was Andrew's baptism. It was a wonderful program. Andrew was the only one being baptized, which was really nice. ***PROUD MOM ALERT. PROUD MOM ALERT*** He has been so ready to be baptized. We read the scriptures with him every night, and he always has something insightful to say about what we have read. I believe that he truly loves Christ and is going to make an excellent missionary someday.
Andrew and cousin Taylor, before the baptism!
With Grandma and Grandpa
Our beautiful family (what with that face, Nathan??)
With mom and dad (I have determined that I am getting fat. The camera adds 10 pounds, right..? RIGHT?)
Me and my good lookin' brother. Apparently he stole all of the skinny genes.
And finally, my little (not so little?) boy with dad in his baptismal clothes. sniff sniff.
These past several weeks have been a whirlwind, but the best kind of whirlwind. We are so proud of our son, so blessed with a wonderful family, and really just blessed with beautiful lives. (Now if I could just get pregnant.....)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Sunrise, Sunset
8 years ago tomorrow, Andrew Jacob was born.
March 15, 2001 at 11:59 A.M., following an emergency c-section that saved his life. 7 pounds, 15 ounces, 21 inches of perfection.
Most people who know me know that I am NOT a touchy feely kind of gal. Generally speaking, sappy-ness makes me somewhat uncomfortable. There are times, though, when it is necessary and time to let it out. This is one such time. I just wanted to take a minute and tell my son how much I love him. Andrew, you were a surprise baby and I honestly did not know what to do when I found out I was expecting you. In fact, my reaction was borderline panic. We'd only been married a short time. But I know now that you came when you were supposed to. God doesn't make mistakes.
Because of you, I became a mother. You know that there is nothing in the world that I am more proud of than you and your brothers.
You were such a sweet baby. So mellow, so snuggly. I used to sing you "Groovy Kind of Love" and you would smile at me and fall asleep on my chest (don't know why. I am a horrendous singer. But you tolerated my singing.) I added our song here to the blog just for you. It makes me tear up everytime I hear it because I can almost feel your tiny little baby breath on my neck when I hear it. It always brings me back to rocking you late at night and whispering the music into your ear.
You, and mostly you alone, got me through the most difficult time of my life - years of Secondary Infertility. Because had I not had you, to greet me with a smile and an "I love you, mommy" after extremely difficult days, I know that I could have not gotten through it. You used to climb into my lap when I was crying and say "it okay mom, I wuv you." You'd go to my RE appointments with me and sing along with "Bigger than my Body" with me after I would receive bad news (which I almost always did at the RE's office.) We'd turn it up loud and you'd butcher the lyrics, but it made me smile. Your silly ways, your laughter, your bright smile and big blue eyes. You were my sunshine, you still are, you always will be.
You are a fighter. You always have been, from the moment you were born under such distress. You want to learn something, and you accomplish it. It's hard for you, but you always find a way to persevere. I want you to know that I have faith in you. I'm proud of you that you have made the decision to be baptised in a few weeks. I'm proud of the boy you have become. You are such a smart boy, and you care so much about those around you. I could not be more proud of you. I love you, Andrew.
(...why does the time go so fast?)
Yup...that's you in there, Andrew!
Less than 24 hours old
Leaving the hospital
Around age 1, first trip to the beach
Age 2
Age 3
Age 4, such a sweetheart!
Age 5, on the first day of Kindergarten
Age 6
Age 7
And finally, last week - age (almost) 8. First week of Cub Scouts.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Operation Kitchen is finished (and I mean it this time)
Happy day! Happy day! The kitchen is finally to my approval. (well...someday we will need new flooring..and a new table...but I will wait until I no longer have a toddler wrecking said floor and table for that.)
If you scroll down, you see how it looked when we bought the house. Then the gradual updates. And now, for pics taken today.
We ripped out that awful florescent light and put in a track light. Originally we planned on putting pendant lights over the island, but then that would require hiring an electrician to put in recessed lights because otherwise the kitchen would be too dark with only the pendants. The track light was a nice compromise.
Sam (with some help from my dad when they were here visiting!!) put in a tile backsplash and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. I knew it would make a huge difference but I underestimated HOW big. It's GORGEOUS. And so easy to take care of.
Then I had to paint the ceiling because the old light left an ugly ring where it used to be. And of course, I don't have the original ceiling paint, so I had to paint the whole ceiling. I gotta tell you, painting a ceiling is a pain in the butt. I had paint in my hair from rubbing against the ceiling while on the ladder, and my glasses got specks of paint all over them that I am still removing a week later. I no longer liked the chocolate brown above the cabinets because the tile is brown, so I painted that the same red as my living room/island. It looks AWESOME.
And finally, my fridge. How I love my new fridge. I got an amazing deal. I went to the Appliance Factory Outlet,w here they sell out of box items. This is a $1300 fridge and I got it for $800. Why?? Because it has a tiny dent in it. So what! I told the salesman that if I didn't buy it with a dent, my children would almost certainly see to it that it had a dent soon. Thank you, tax return $$.
And now, without further ado...
Whew!!
**FERTILITY UPDATE**
So I went to have my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork drawn yesterday. (Yes, Sunday. You can't help when your cycle day lands.) My ultrasound was great, 16 antral follicles on the right and 8 on the left. I'm a little perplexed as to the discrepency, but the nurse said it wasn't a concern. Whatever. My labs were:
FSH - 6 (excellent)
Estradiol - 29 (excellent)
LH - 5 (excellent...PCOS isn't rearing it's head right now)
There is one more value that hasn't come back, it's some blood test to further analyze egg quality, I can't remember what it's called but it's some long name that starts with an A. Anyway they have to send that test out of their lab, so it takes a week. Crossing my fingers!!
I begin the Femara tonight, 5mg for 5 days, days 3-7. Then I go in on day 14 for an ultrasound and possibly the trigger shot.
And now for some pics of my boys because they're so stinking cute. Matthew and Nathan enjoy playing dress up. Here they are a few days ago. :)
If you scroll down, you see how it looked when we bought the house. Then the gradual updates. And now, for pics taken today.
We ripped out that awful florescent light and put in a track light. Originally we planned on putting pendant lights over the island, but then that would require hiring an electrician to put in recessed lights because otherwise the kitchen would be too dark with only the pendants. The track light was a nice compromise.
Sam (with some help from my dad when they were here visiting!!) put in a tile backsplash and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. I knew it would make a huge difference but I underestimated HOW big. It's GORGEOUS. And so easy to take care of.
Then I had to paint the ceiling because the old light left an ugly ring where it used to be. And of course, I don't have the original ceiling paint, so I had to paint the whole ceiling. I gotta tell you, painting a ceiling is a pain in the butt. I had paint in my hair from rubbing against the ceiling while on the ladder, and my glasses got specks of paint all over them that I am still removing a week later. I no longer liked the chocolate brown above the cabinets because the tile is brown, so I painted that the same red as my living room/island. It looks AWESOME.
And finally, my fridge. How I love my new fridge. I got an amazing deal. I went to the Appliance Factory Outlet,w here they sell out of box items. This is a $1300 fridge and I got it for $800. Why?? Because it has a tiny dent in it. So what! I told the salesman that if I didn't buy it with a dent, my children would almost certainly see to it that it had a dent soon. Thank you, tax return $$.
And now, without further ado...
Whew!!
**FERTILITY UPDATE**
So I went to have my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork drawn yesterday. (Yes, Sunday. You can't help when your cycle day lands.) My ultrasound was great, 16 antral follicles on the right and 8 on the left. I'm a little perplexed as to the discrepency, but the nurse said it wasn't a concern. Whatever. My labs were:
FSH - 6 (excellent)
Estradiol - 29 (excellent)
LH - 5 (excellent...PCOS isn't rearing it's head right now)
There is one more value that hasn't come back, it's some blood test to further analyze egg quality, I can't remember what it's called but it's some long name that starts with an A. Anyway they have to send that test out of their lab, so it takes a week. Crossing my fingers!!
I begin the Femara tonight, 5mg for 5 days, days 3-7. Then I go in on day 14 for an ultrasound and possibly the trigger shot.
And now for some pics of my boys because they're so stinking cute. Matthew and Nathan enjoy playing dress up. Here they are a few days ago. :)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
A trip to the zoo
(ok so they are not Tae Kwon Do pictures but I just found these on my camera, having forgotten all about them.)
We took a little trip to the zoo a few weeks ago. We've been having amazing weather here in CO, not sure why (gasp! Global Warming!) We took our Andrew's little friend Andy (yes. It does get confusing when he's with us. Which is a often.)
We love the Denver Zoo. We have an annual family pass, which means that we can go whenever we want. It's great because we don't feel like we have to spend the entire day there because of paying admission. Matthew is terrified of the birds, especially the peacocks that roam around freely. But whatever. That's Matthew for you. Scared of anything with more than 2 legs.
Andrew and Andy, seeing how far they can jump as compared to different animals.
Matthew and....Andy again!
My sweet baby boy (ok so YES, I am aware that he is no longer a baby, but he is MY baby until that role is otherwise replaced by a new baby)
Nathan is so friendly, he meets a new friend everywhere we go. He and this little boy really hit it off and enjoyed watching the animals together. His mom and I couldn't separate them!
(singing the show tune) Standing on the corner, watching all the girls go by...
We took a little trip to the zoo a few weeks ago. We've been having amazing weather here in CO, not sure why (gasp! Global Warming!) We took our Andrew's little friend Andy (yes. It does get confusing when he's with us. Which is a often.)
We love the Denver Zoo. We have an annual family pass, which means that we can go whenever we want. It's great because we don't feel like we have to spend the entire day there because of paying admission. Matthew is terrified of the birds, especially the peacocks that roam around freely. But whatever. That's Matthew for you. Scared of anything with more than 2 legs.
Andrew and Andy, seeing how far they can jump as compared to different animals.
Matthew and....Andy again!
My sweet baby boy (ok so YES, I am aware that he is no longer a baby, but he is MY baby until that role is otherwise replaced by a new baby)
Nathan is so friendly, he meets a new friend everywhere we go. He and this little boy really hit it off and enjoyed watching the animals together. His mom and I couldn't separate them!
(singing the show tune) Standing on the corner, watching all the girls go by...
